I had my fourth weigh in yesterday and had put on another pound. So out of the 4 and a half pounds I have lost in total, I have put on 2.

Last Monday Jo gave me an SAS form to fill in which is a detailed account of food and feelings etc. On Tuesday I spoke to her and she told me that I had not been doing the plan correctly as I was having white bread from a 800g loaf instead of wholemeal from a 400g loaf, etc, etc. Anyway, I discovered that I was probably having about 20 - 30 syns a day! On Wednesday I stuck to the plan perfectly. I was then invited to a Mehndi that day for the evening and then a wedding the next day. I didn't go overboard but I did not stick to the plan. By Friday I became disheartened and had not shopped or planned my food so I decided to eat sensibly. I looked for excuses not to go for weigh in but decided that this time I could not run away and I needed to go.

I went very early and got weighed and then became upset. Jo was very supportive as were the other members and it really helped me if I am honest. I did feel like a failure and although I knew I was not going to give up, I thought other people would think that I failed again. I decided to stay to the IMAGE Therapy session after all and I think it helped.

I have decided to try the Quark that my mum goes on about. I am quite stubborn and had already decided before trying it, that I wasn't going to like it. Anyway, my daughter made me a lovely dessert with quark which I will post soon. Ruqaiyah loves quark aand wanted to show me how nice it could be. It was lovely and filling and 5 and half sins! I felt like I had eaten a really naughty dessert. Of course it can be adapted to have less syns.

I am trying to change my eating habits so that I enjoy vegetables and other things that I turn my nose up at. I know that we can train our bodies over time to actually like them.

I would like to maintain my weight until new year if I am realistic and then I am going to stick to the plan 100% and focus on red days. In the meantime, I am sticking to the plan as best I can but on Thursday I won't be. I will not go overboard either.

I am not giving in to this battle of mine...NEVER.....I might have ups and downs but it is a learning curve for me. A life changing process.... and we all know that these things cannot happen overnight for those people like me who lived for junk food, no vegetables and little fruit.